the year that was...


January
- passed 3 diff universities, had to choose only one.. duh.
- YMAA overnight
- Sunshine's debut: first emcee stint
- Lolo Tambo's death

February
- Bible quiz thing: 4th place shame shame..
- Broadway (as Bernardo)
- Legacy (as dancer and Ticket Committee Student Counterpart)

March
- Public School Recollection (class head)
- Jaimee's debut (emcee and songer)
- Commissioning Ceremonies
- Av debut (emcee)

April
- Graduation from High school
- a year. ♥

May
- San Pablo, Laguna Santacruzan (as Reyna Elena)
- 18th birthday

June
- Welcome Ateneo for me.
- Welcome block D1 
- learned about TB

July
- Hannah's debut (emcee and songer)
- joined Tanghalang Ateneo

August
- Tanghalang Ateneo Workshop thing
- TANTRA party
- Sagala ng mga Sikat with blockmates

September
- Kiki's debut (emcee)
- waaaaaw.
- ... i really don't know what happened around this time.. hmm..

October
- A in Filipino and Ballroom Dancing ♥
- Math? hahahaah.
- NSK rehersals
- waaaaaahahaaww. ♥
- breakdown
- Lola Tikew in hospital for ..sshh...

November
- NSK rehersals
- 12% body fat
- AA fair with jmi, maan, pakes, kiki, giu and ryan
- Lola's shhhh went poof ü

December
- NSK shows
- sun_{sigh... twas the closest thing to perfect but the farthest thing from meeee}

waaaaaaaw. twas really an eventful year. so much to do with adjusting and coping with changes. changes with people's expectations on an 18 year old.. changes with school.. changes in priorities... change of heart? maybe... change in one's perception of self. nagbago din ang cell phone ko, ang laman ng cabinet, ang salamin at buhok. andito pa rin ang pagsabi ng yuck at gagu at ang pagpapaLSS sa mga tao. nadagdagan ng kaibigan, nabawasan naman ng iba. kumonti ang oras, kumonti ang pasensya at ang paguunawa.

i was never really a fan of changes. if you ask me, id rather stay on the safe side... where i know every reaction i'd get and every move i should do. hmm.. but then, my year took unexpected turns. nakakahilo. things really didn't go as planned. dreams were crushed and new ones were formed. feels like the first half of my year was a dimension away from the latter half. weird. sobrang magkaiba kase ang mga pangyayari. malabo. masabaw. makes me feel icky and happy at the same time. weird nga.

resolutions? nah.

but i'll really really try to document my life more.. hindi na ako makahabol minsan.. feeling ko, onti ang nangyari sa akin pero pagod ako. labo.. at yayaman ako ngayong 2006. seryoso. magiimpok na ako at magtitipid. um.. hindi ko lang alam dun sa tipid.. pero desidido na akong magsave. watch out, imma gonna get rich. oh, tsaka mag pray. ü

hindi ko na alam. siguro, i have to "re-know" what being excited and giddy is like. ung totoo... ung hindi pilit... ung john lloyd-bea type.
hahahahaha!!!ü

loosen up. kill the drama.

wooooo. :D spent time with good lovely friends. :D dumaan sina pakes, jehhmi, maan and karell at tulad ng dati, pinuno namin ng tawanan, kwentuhan, panunuod ng dvd, pagkain at piktyuran ang buoooooong kalawakan. hiii.ü its really really nice to hear from them again. ansaya kase masaya naman sila sa buhay buhay nila ngayon... except kami nina karell at faith. ahahaha! we rulz! atleast we have each other pa naman. :D sooooper namiss ko sila na nakakaihi na. hahahaha!:D

oh, went in and out of the hospital. its time for my regular check up kase. and hey, hindi ko na ittake ang super-hassle-gusto-kitang-iflush-sa-toilet gamot. pero hindi ko pa naman ginawa un.. :D dahil sa cheggup ko, hindi ako nakaattend sa photoshoot kanina.. no peechur for me. and naturukan ako ng needul. hanggang ngayon, takot pa rin ako. hindi talaga ako huminga all throughout the proceedure. gusto kong umiyak pero hindi ako ganun kababaw.:D


i still hate hospitals

advisement. wow. i got the Communication and Computer Science: Management Information Systems tracks. why? i really dont know. im still kicking myself for choosing the latter. hindi ako ok sa computer at bobo ako sa math. wow. risk risk. sana lang i just made the right kind of risk. that kind which would give great satisfaction in the end. hmmm.. i was then made to choose the classes i would take next year. huwaaa? dun mismo?? ganun pala talaga un.. quick choices. but im not quite sure if theyre the sensible and right ones. oh, they offered a Writing and Illustrating for Children class. i picked that one pero para lang pala sa Juniors un so i ended up with Human Resources Development. raarrr. :D pero ok na rin.

have to make notecards on several books for my english paper. problem? isinauli ko sa library ang mga libro. at hindi ko alam kung bakit. waaaaaaaw.

nagbabartend si belle ngayon sa Friday's. ooooh. nakakainggit. ansarap niyang kurutin sa tadyang.

asked dino about eherm. sorry na lang.

charlon na ito!!!!!! joke lang. pish poh tayo. hahahahah!

got steadler fineliner and gel liner pens from my nice nice blockmate and orgmate (for Christmas). yiiii. :D thank yuuuuuu.

got a panda book. bought it for just P25. ANG KYUT NG PANDAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! kahit nakatalikod!!! hahaha!



nakasalubong ko si enzo. sabi niya..
"o, tina! hindi ka na ata masaya... hindi ka na makulet. para kang na-tame."
hindi ko alam kung anung ibig sabihin nun... kelangan ba akong matuwa? o magwonder kung bakit ganun? hrmm..

have you seen by sanity?

nagbblush on na ako sa school dahil mukha akong laging harassed.
hahahaahahahaha!! issonotme. im much much prettier and saner than this. you'll see.. you'll see.

but until then, just settle for this. settle for less.

my mind still shakes whenever i say MIS. *shaaaake*
haha! sabog.

bumababa na ang standards ng lalaki. ooor, kumukyut lang ako. hahaha! pwe.

alien gave me a bob ong book!

for now, i hate robert frost. just for now. hehe.

parusa ang mabuhay kanina. aaaaaansaket ng katawan ko dahil sa aking feriod. nakakaiyak na nakakasuka. buong araw pa naman akong naglakad at nag-aral; dalawang bagay na hindi kaaya-aya pag meron ka. guess i wont elaborate on that anymore. haha!

sooooper sabog. and kelangan pang mag aral for tomorrow's math test. nag-aral kami ng da gang kanina. hindi ko kase alam kung pano ang effective math studying. haha! torpe kase ako sa math. tas pakipot pa siya. so, wala na talagang mapupuntahan ang relasyon namin. haha! kaya, un. :D pamatay. bahala na.

ang weird dahil hindi na ako masydong nakakadaan sa TA. not like before na nakakaattend ako most of the time.. lagi kasing may kasanggang ibang sched eh tulad ng mga test, appointments sa doctor, important family gatherings etc. nakakalungkot. rawwr.

hindi na rin kami suuuuper naguusap ni not. mas nakakalungkot.

oh, dun sa PE kahapon, binigyan kami ng isang minuto para makagawa ng pinakamaraming sit-up/push up na makakaya namin. ilan nakaya kong push ups??! tatlo. kasisimula ko pa lang, pinatigil na ako nung intructor. at ang masama pa dun, karamihan ng mga lalaki sa class (lahat hindi ko kilala) sabay sabay na nagsabing... "AAAWWWW..." gaguuuuu.

________
ikaw, oo, ikaw. hindi ka tama. sana hindi mo pinapagulo ang scenario.
hala... sino to...ü are you applicable? or ju wanna apply? haaar! so kurezzzy

im such a loser. and me smiling in the photo with a big big L written on my forehead makes me loserX20,000.





math, memorizing telephone and cellular phone numbers, eating fish, showing my feelings, dealing with my issues and emotions, computer, computer games, time alottment, math, budgeting money, math, fixing my lousy lousy hair, math, watching TV while on the phone, math...

and the list goes on.

with math constatly popping every other time..

super tambay mode buong araw. after chem, kumain kami nina ervin, ali at bea sa tapa king. balak ko talaga sanang pumuntang rmt after that. pero anong sagot ni Papa Jesus? ulan! malakas na buhos ng ulan! at sa araw araw kong pagdala ng payong, kanina'y aking napagdesisyonang huwag na itong ilagay sa aking bag. ayun. stranded. hindi na ako nakabalik. dalawang oras din un ng pagkkwentuhan at pakikipagtitigan. sobrang tawanan lang at kwentuhan. chill. haha! nung tumila na ang ulan, lumipat kaming jollibee para mag ice cream. kakaunti pa lang ang nilalakad namin, biglang boom! here comes the rain again! nabasa lang rin kami. after that, balik school upang makinig sa isang talk... "Seeing God in Science."

ay, nakuha ko na ang results ng xray ko. normal chest and no sign of abnormal lymph nodes ekek. yiii.ü healthy yet again. :D

tomorrow's my grandfather's first death anniversary. for a year, my aunts and my nanay wore only black, white and navy-blue colored outfits as they mourn for their father's death. Pero bukas, mag-iiba na ang lahat. babalik na sa dati. but this time, everything will be much easier to handle - their feelings of loss and their need to cope.

im having fun with my planner. yiii.ü
im having much more fun with ness. :D
im missing weekly trips to SPEED area...

i just found out that i like ice cream only when im super lonely and when im with a very close friend.
id rather be punched hard on the arm than be pinched even with the slightest force.
when there's an ongoing conversation between my friends, i only pick the ones id listen to.

ive been learning more about myself lately. funny, isnt it? but this self discovery thing really works out for me.

i saw Jars today. i was really really glad that i did. :D we reminisced about past conversations and made our new one quite pleasurable. talking to jars made my day. hiii. :D

hugged avery right after the jars-tina-meet. a great lovely ending.

ju feel that? he's slightly moving and making shake the consciousness. huwaay? haha. sheessh. codes codes codes.. :D

sabi ko na nga ba, dapat hindi na lang. sabi na nga ba't ganito ang mangyayari. shouldve trusted myself... pero kailangan daw eh. oh well. see what happened?! we made everything more unbearable.

hindi ko akalaing sasabihin ko ito... ever.. ngunit.. kinikilig ako... sa MATH! hahahaa!!

nothings really happening to me lately. school and TA work crowd my days. im not complaining. actually... i like it this way. i try to keep all my responsibilities balanced. hmm.. just wishing neither one will suffer.

and hey, im smiling a lot more these days. siguro kase i keep on bumping to nikki and avery. awww. they really really complete my day. hahaha! nagwala na naman kami ni nikki kanina... daming tumingin nung nagsigawan kami at naghug at naggaguhan. but who cares?!? hahahaha! yiii. ü

went to speed kanina.. may formation thing. and we got to choose a partner who would guide us as we kept our eyes shut. um, i chose erbzz. haha! Z.ü led me across forever. nyaaahuuu. hahaha! pero in fairness, hindi ako natakot. kahit na sinasabi niya sa aking dadalhin niya na ako sa bahay niya at sa bodega. hahaha! yiiii.ü kuleeeet.

chemistry makes my life a bit harsher.

i'll try smiling a lot more. i'll force myself to fix my face. haha.ü i'll be more of a tina than of a crank. raaaaar!! :D

from Postsecret

i was in a room full of people and yet i felt so alone. silence and cold harsh air accompanied me. it was a strange evening, really. i only had brief talks with the people around me and only had about two friends with whom i really had a conversation with. and what did we talk about?! love. the hopeless romantic, wishful thinking kind. it drained me. i just listened to them at the latter part of the evening.

a couple sat beside us. and, silly as this may sound, i didn't want to look at them. i just couldn't.

*sigh

i miss calling someone's cell phone. i miss receiving calls. im longing for blissful senseless talks and sincere exchange of ideas. i miss having heartful laughs because of nothing and being excited about everything. i miss.

i was at rozelle's debut, by the way. but hey, it doesnt mean that i wasn't able to have fun at her party... its just that... something inside me didn't really allow me to enjoy it completely.

what if i were pretty enough? what if i did have the perfect teeth and the nicely plucked eyebrows? what if i did good in math and having conversations in english? ... ayun.

haha! just a couple of questions. walang punchline.

oh oh! i forsaken Jollibee yesterday!!! shit! hahahahhahhahaa!!!!!! - sorry, private jokeü i really loved Jollibee.... haaay.. im sorrrrryyy.. i never meant to hurt youuuuz.

came back to the hospital yesterday... a five minute check-up really doesn't compensate an hour's ride to St. Lukes. thats just wrong.ü

bakit sa tuwing desidido na akong magpakasaya, magsasabwatan ang buong madla at ang kapalaran upang hadlangan ito?

...siguro dahil sa madali akong antukin tuwing Chemistry.

...... baka dahil sinuntok ko kanina sa tiyan si brandz at dino.

kanina, pinilit ko na lang ngumiti dahil ito ang ipinangako ko sa sarili ko noong nakaraang araw.. kaligayahan. dahil lang doon.

ay nako. nakakahilo rin ang magalburuto.

nakakatuwa ang buhay ko, seryoso. minsan nga nakakabobo na eh. haha.ü lagi akong nadadapa, nadudumihan at laging may kalabuang nangyayari sa akin o sa palagid ko. o, diba, exciting? nakakaihi. pero nakakapagod din pala ang ganun.. ang pagtawanan ang sarili at ng mga nakapaligid sa iyo.

aaaaanyway..

enero pa lang pero madami dami na rin ang nangyayari ngayon. nakakawindang. hinay hinay lang tsong. madami pang oras.. mahaba-haba pa ang nalalabing sandali.ü relak, relak.

ay!! ay!! may picture si kenn na tulog ako. as usual, nakanganga at mukhang sinapian. marami na ang mga peechur kong tulog dito sa bahay... at lahat iyon, bigay lang sa akin ng mga tao. haahaha! ang olats ko. kung maganda lang sana akong matulog... eh hindi.. kaya sorry na lang. :D

gusto ko nang magpagupeeeeet..... nalulunod na ako sa buhoooook.....

Telephone
Socially scared and impaired
If the trees will bloom the wind can blow
Without the fruit falling out

Old incisions refusing to stay
Like sun through the trees on a cloudy day

You brighten my life like a polystyrene hat
But it melts in the sun like a life without love
But I've waited for you so I'll keep holding on
Without You

still feeling the chills. leaving something significant behind and pretend like nothing's happened is really difficult and heart wrenching.

Oh, went around Big R to distribute fliers for our upcomming play, Ang Nilalang Ni Victor Frankenstein(more details bout the play.ü) Vin's being extraaaa sweet. twas weird, though. hahaha! bugbog sarado na naman siya. sorry na lang.ü

lately, my dreams are just about one thing and of one person. freaaaaky.
my tummy feels kinda funny. pero hindi ako natatawa.

i got an A in my math midterms.
yiiii. :D

ooohh...

what a loooong eventful day. first, as all my saturdays start, i pianoed. hahaha! :D went to our piano lesson and paid our super overdued fee (we didnt pay for the last four months..hii.ü). sobrang laugh trip, as always and hmm.. i think my skillz are improving. haha! duh. sana naman. medyo matagal na rin akong tumutugtog. :D

then, went to the dentist... again. one and a half hour's ride melted my sanity. i just slept na lang through the trip. when i got there, since it was saturday, madaming tao ang magpapacheck up. so, i had to wait for about forty minutes. when it was my turn, i sat on the chair-apparatus thing...

tina: dra, natanggal po ung bracket ko ulit.. (the one she put back on just a few weeks ago..)
dra: ha? tsk.. maganda na ang ngipin mo... sige, tatanggalin na natin. balik ka na lang sa tuesday... sige, thank you.

whuuuuut?! hindi pa umiinit ung puwet ko sa upuan, babay na?!

atleast, matatanggal na ang braces ko.. ulit. haha! -- this is my second time to wear braces.. i didnt use my retainers kase dati so un... haha! they needed to put them back on-- ima excited! :D

then, went to UP to watch Kidlat Tahimik's Pinabanguhang Bangungot. Yes the film was a bit dragging... but twas nice. hehe. :D it talked about having dreams of progress and how good it would feel to experience it only to find out later that you just have to set your eyes to the right direction to really get a glimpse of what progress does to people and their principles. well, thats how i see the film. it kept on mentioning and illustrating bridges and journeys; journey to progress... journey to freedom. rarrrr. :D

ate isaw. yep, UP isaw.ü

went to robinson's cainta to get my hair cut. but was able to meet up with sandara whose got nice eyes and chilly stares. still am a bit giddy. lagoooot. ü and ended up having uncut long and messy hair.

felt different levels of coldness today. some brought by oversized air conditioners while some by overstressed people. and, even, brought to others by, who else but me....