sobra nang dami ang nangyayari na hindi ko na alam kung anung gagawin, anung irereact, anung uunahin at kung tama pa ba ito.

i want to cry my little heart out but i cant.
im afraid that if i do, id run of air and my soul would just give up.

i want someone to hug me and squeeze the tears from my eyes...
please.

have you ever felt a tingly sensation after you get a kiss? you'd touch that bit piece of skin which met with the other person's lips..

yesterday, in our regular visit to Child's World somewhere in araneta ave. i met charles. he was this cute little boy with chinky eyes behind round wide-framed eye glasses. he has down syndrome (i think) so he had this small face and very smooth skin.

we were playing in the sandbox when his teacher called him. he then ran to his table, got a pencil and started working on some puzzles. i watched him as eh intently drew lines across the page, his eyes locked on the tip of his pencil and on the path he should take. a sincere, gentle smile will follow after the worm got to its apple and after the soldier reached his horse. his teacher gave him a break after a job perfectly done (he committed no mistakes. =D). so, he ran towards the wooden blocks, sat down on the floor, slowly removed his shoes, arranged them and placed them at the corner of the room. he then reached up to the shelf to get a block and laid it on the floor. the blocks looked so heavy for his small hands (wooden nga eh diba..) so i just got one so he wouldn't have to reach up anymore. since i am soooooo cute, (=D) i asked for a kiss before giving him the block. and so, he kissed me. his lips were so cold that even after the kiss, i could still feel the chill from my cheek. he didn't look at me after that, nor did he smiled. he just got the block and continued on. i then got another block, asked him to kiss me, and watched him arrange his masterpiece. this went on for awhile so i got my kisses and he got his blocks. but then, when i got a wooden block, before i can actually ask him, he voluntarily kissed me, thinking it was the only way he could get the block.

this happened about three times.

even though he thought the kiss was just a routine, i still felt its intensity.. its sincerity. for the past few days, i've been searching for people who could sympathize with me; those who can wipe off my tears and give me hope (well.. aside from notnot. =D). who knew that a simple kiss from a kid could mend and comfort a heart of a teen-trying-to-be-a-kid. i guess charles doesn't have the slightest idea what he did for me. for him, it was just a kiss which gave him the block he wanted. but for me, it was a kiss of hope, of strength, of encouragement.



if this kid, who is pretty much suffering right now, can kiss a person, can give someone light and can be inspirational... why cant you?

wala nang lasa ang mga luha ko.

pwe.

hindi parin nasasapalan ng ngiti ang mga ito.